Crime has increased noticeably in the Washington DC area, including Arlington County, just across the Potomac. Carjackings in particular are up, as are robberies and vehicle break-ins.
And now, sticks, or, at least a stick.
My stick.
I was using it to chock the wheels on a trash can towards the edge of my property so it wouldn’t inadvertently roll out in front of oncoming traffic. It was useful for this purpose, and cheap because, stick.
I discovered the dastardly deed while taking out the trash. There it was, the empty space where my stick once stood guard against runaway refuse.
That stick literally saved lives.
Possibly.
I felt violated.
Also, confused.
Who would steal a stick, other than beavers? Was it an initiation for a really low-key gang? (Think MS-1/3.) Maybe a last-minute piñata emergency?
I then thought perhaps kids because kids do nonsensical things, but it was a stick lying on the ground behind the wheels of a trash can, which incidentally, hadn’t budged anyway.
As pranks and petty acts of vandalism go this was… underwhelming.
A day or two later I came across a post on Nextdoor, the neighborhood app known for missing pet alerts, people looking for empty moving boxes (seriously, very popular request), and complaints about neighbors’ behavior that routinely result in 275 comments about how it was the complainer who was clearly in the wrong and others coming to their defense and really I don’t care if the kids next door drew a picture of a horsey on the sidewalk in front of your house.
In any case, the post in questions alerted neighbors just to the south of me in Alexandria that there was a brick burglar afoot.
Someone stole 13 red bricks that were in my front yard that I was going to use in my garden. While I was out running errands. In the middle of the afternoon. Who steals bricks???
Who steals bricks?
Well, I’m going to say thieves with higher aspirations than my stick burglar, that’s for sure.
Those people in Alexandria think they’re so fancy with their high-class thieves. In fact, one asked the quintessential Alexandria question:
Were they historic bricks?
They were not.
Quick aside here before I move on; there is no report of a crime that appears on Nextdoor without one or more virtue-signaling scolds coming to the criminal’s defense.
In this post, it started with a neighbor suggesting that maybe it was a mistake.
I bet they thought you were getting rid of them, I have a bunch of bricks. You are welcome to sum [sic] if you like I’m also in Delray.
“I bet.”
Crime isn’t real!
He also shows off his expansive wealth. Why, he’s so rich he can just give bricks away to the less fortunate.
The victim politely declined the offer and responded with further details.
They were lined up one by one on my garden wall where they needed to be motored [sic] together. The bottom half was complete and I paused the project halfway. It was clear that they were going to be used for that project. Thanks for the offer - I'm going to just get some new bricks from the same place to make sure they are the same. I just think it odd that someone would steal bricks, given that they were just regular old red bricks, about $1.25 each.
That should have ended that, but of course, it didn’t as another neighbor whose heart is so bleeding she should probably check with her doctor about a potential clotting disorder.
might be clear to you but maybe not random passer by. Why do “we” always ascribe hateful motives when it could just be an honest mistake?
Somehow she resisted the urge to add the obligatory, “maybe they were just hungry.”
The comments were withering, although my favorite was from the victim.
and a car parked in a home's driveway could have been left for anyone to take. who knows what it could mean - definitely not clear. probably the owner's fault for not writing "don't steal me" on the car. honest mistake.
Some commenters noted a potential motive, one that made a lot of sense.
The bricks were just a tool to facilitate the real crime.
Not sure when this happened but my neighbors [sic] tires were stolen and the car was placed on red bricks the other day. Just awful!
Someone responded with a similar story involving pavers.
That got me thinking, what criminal activity could be perpetuated by a stick?
My first thought, poking.
My second thought, I didn’t have a second thought. Poking was pretty much it.
I have since replaced my stick with a slightly thinner stick in the hope that it would be less enticing to thieves.
In any case, let me know if you have any ideas for what might serve as motivation to steal a stick.
Also, someone needs moving boxes.
My neighbor’s windshield wiper was stolen and replaced with a stick.
Simple rule in life, don't ask "Whose is it?" ask "Is it mine?" and if the answer is "No" then don't take it.